Life has been about responsibility and the inevitable of late. This is the end of a two year cycle (perhaps three, now that I think about it) of transition,evolution and serious growth. For that, I am grateful and thank you for the lessons and the often (very) dry sense of humor. One of the recent gifts has been that of acceptance of what is with humility, gratitude, and thoughtful reverence. I do not like to think of aging, or its consequences; both are a reality in my life on a daily basis, from those who are seventeen going on forty, to those who are seventy and mischievous as a ten year old in spirit.
As the Lord of Time, Fate, and Inevitability (that which cannot be changed), you, Lord Kronos have taught me that nothing new can come in if the gateway is jammed with what is old and past. Leaves block a drain until the water or stronger force clears, and thus renews it. The past two years have been spent gathering and discarding what is not needed for new growth. There is only so much space for worry about what is not present, or what is needed ten years from now. The cycle of eternal youth and rejuvenation is marked by the harvest festival that we celebrate in August and the ability to let lay fallow the soil that resides within the individual.
When I first became an initiate, I feared Lord Saturn and rarely would call upon Lord Kronos, in any form. What I have learned since that time is that fear is not only inevitable,but it must be embraced and then put aside, in the same manner that a child acknowledges and then leaves behind his or her earliest toys. You know that it is there, and you move forward in spite of it. If fear is the rock that blocks the stream, then these past two years have shown me that it is either move the rock or remain stuck. I have chosen again and again to move the rock. When the rocks have been too heavy, I have called upon the Gods, which includes asking those around me for prayer and intercession as well.
As the Lord of the Harvest and the inevitable on the physical plane, you, Lord Saturn have reminded me to count my blessings, regardless of the form or number. With each Saturnalia, I think of what is important for the following year. This past Saturnalia, the highlight was a ritual where we put our goals and aspirations for the light half of the year into a jar that remains on one’s altar, sealed until Verlitha Solistum (Rite of Pyrhea). I must confess that I am curious to see when I open my jar in just over five weeks whether I have remained true to my own desires and quest for knowledge or if I have gaps to fill.
Finally, I thank you Lord Kronos and Lord Saturn for speaking to me on the happy nature of life, as well as the serious. When I have looked for guidance, you speak to me in my dreams and remind me that time (seconds and minutes versus hours, days and years) is all relative. I thank you for those I love, who have taught me about the meaning of time in small bits. I don’t take it for granted anymore. Thank you so much.